will rejection always be the thing

so, i get a job working at a place where these people are supposed to be following all these conscientious principles, being caring, communicative, etc, and then they reject me.  they try to give me some really vague feedback and then pretend later that i should somehow have grasped it, regardless of how vague it was.  and then when i tell them i need them to be direct and clear, they try to claim i should already have understood.  despite the vagueness.  i say, i can appreciate someone being gracious and kind and subtle on the one hand, but on the other, really need specific feedback if i'm supposed to learn and grow in the ways that will lead to my becoming a successful part of this team.  they are not forthcoming with this information.  the spouse says to me, the think you might just need to accept is that, well, probably what really happened is just that your direct coworkers didn't like you.  and they threw you under the bus.  and that's just really unlucky.  but the disorienting thing is, like, how could that happen in a workplace like this?  can i conclude, only, that i was rejected?  or is there a lesson to learn?  if there's a lesson to learn, then what exactly is it?  and how come when i ask for clarification on this point, the information is absent?  if there are real reasons, why can't they provide them?  what am i supposed to be learning???  this is bullshit.  if my goal is to change the world, and the way the world functions, and to question everything, and to bring things up to snuff in the realm of being kind, compassionate, empathetic, nonjudgmental, and communicative, and there are only a few places that i even know of where the supposed philosophy is such that this kind of utopian ideal could possibly be striven for, then i try to become a part of this world, and they tell me i can't be one of them, then (a) what place on earth is left for me, (b) who are my people if not these people, and (c) if this place isn't capable of embodying what really matters on all levels, then how can i hope for that kind of idealism out of anyone, anywhere, if not even this place can do it or even try?